My kids are generally best friends, but every once in a while it’s like a switch flips in their little noggins and suddenly they are at each others throats. Talk about frustrating.
I tried all sorts of forms of “punishment”, but most of them failed as they weren’t getting the sense of responsibility for their actions or empathy at what their actions did to the other person.
Not that my children are non empathetic, they are. But in those moments, all they knew was that they were getting their “justice” against the other. Not to mention, it was always the other persons fault. I needed something that would help them see how their actions affected, and ultimately hurt, the other person. Also to show how what they did was nobodies fault but their own. That is when I came up with Reflections Cards.
Reflections Cards helped my children develop their empathy and responsibility to a before the actions state. When they where made to use them, they had to think ” If I do this, what will happen to the other person? How is the other person going to feel? What will happen to me?” My kids still fight and argue, but this has helped significantly reduce the amount of brawls we have in our home.
Each card has instructions on what the child needs to do. It then lists questions that they have to think about. I have my kids sit for 10 minutes pondering the questions. When their time is up, they are required to give an answer for each question on the list and an apology. If they can’t come up with an answer for everything on the card they are required to sit back down and think for 5 more minutes or until they come up with an answer (“I don’t know” is not an answer.)
You can download the cards by clicking the link below.
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